8 Signs Your Dog Might Be Turning Into A Zombie
Will the End of the World come in the form of an A”pup”calypse? I’m not sure. But let’s all be safe, shall we? Here are 8 Signs your Dog might be turning into a Zombie. Oh, and keep the brains locked safely away just in case…
1. An Undead Obsession
At first, you think it’s all about you. How cute is it that your pup just LOVES being right next to you when you watch your favorite TV shows! Snuggles all around! But then you start to realize, the attention seems to be focused not on you, but on the actual show. And it’s a show with Zombies. If you try to watch something else, a slow moving paw grabs the remote to deter the channel change. You still think nothing of it, until one day you come home to this.
When did he learn to turn on the TV? And access zombie-themed shows recorded on your DVR? And wait, is he taking notes?
2. Sporting Zombie Swag
Your pooch has never been a fan of wearing any type of clothing. In fact, she thinks it’s incredibly ridiculous and demeaning. (Do we need to rehash the striped sweater incident of 2011? I think not. ) But last week your furry friend came home from the dog park sporting some zombie swag. And if you try to take it away? Let’s just say you’d rather keep all of your fingers.
Weird.
3. Rigid Rover
Watching your pup sleeping peacefully has always been a zen moment for you. He always looks so sweet and loved. You can’t help but wonder what he is dreaming about and snap a few pics for your Instagram. #thesweetestpuppy #dreamingoftreats But lately, your dog’s sleeping position is a little less sweet and a little more scary.
#shouldibeconcerned #dreamingofbrains #help?
4. The Undead Hair Day
It’s a pretty well known fact that zombies don’t have the best personal hygiene. With all the moaning, drooling, and craving of brain, doing their hair seems to be last on a long list of “to dos.” So if your pup’s usually coiffed hairdo starts to go a little sideways (literally) you might have cause to be suspicious.
5. The Dead Walk
You go to take your Pup for your usual nightly walk. He gets excited when he hears the sound of the leash. He circle the door, tail a-wagging, ready to GO! But as soon as you get outside, it’s like an undead switch flips. Rather than romping around the neighborhood, your dog starts walking like this.
You start wondering if this can possibly be normal. You google “Dog walking creepily on hind legs.” You also start having flashbacks to the Thriller music video…
6. The Dead WalkERS
What can we say. From what Zombie-Lore, hit TV shows like “The Walking Dead,” and 80s music videos tell us, Zombies seem to be fairly social creatures. Where you find one flesh-crunching monster, you seem to find several of their brain-craving buddies. So if your usually socially awkward pup suddenly has a few new creepy friends at the dog park, you might want to check your clock.
Is it close to midnight? Is something evil lurking/barking in the dark?
7. Crazy Eyes
“Orange is the New Black” is NOT the only TV show to alert us to the danger of characters with crazy eyes. Zombies have crazy eyes. It’s, like, a fact. Sometimes the eyes are white and vacant. Sometimes they are glowing and blue. But they are definitely not normal. So if your pooch suddenly sports some crazy eyes, it might be time to prepare for the end.
8. Craving some Brain
Let’s face it, Zombies crave brain more than a pregnant woman craves pickle-bacon flavored ice cream. (Yum!)
So if you find your furry friend suddenly spurning their delicious doggie din-din in favor of more cerebral snacks, your own A”pup”calypse might be on hand.
But don’t worry, even if the end of the world comes in the form of a Dog-Zombie invasion there will always be a hero on hand, ready to fight for the freedom and safety of Hoomanity!
